Friday, March 30, 2012

The Forrest Garden.



75% recovered and second day back home from the hospital, i'm off to work again. Working illness? I don't know. I just feel that i will get more ill just from lying in bed all day and not fighting back. Anyway, this blog isn't going to be about my hospital experience or why i've not been feeling well - i'm planning to save that for another time.

I've decided to start a Dream Bank category on my blog. Why? because personally, i really love finding out what certain dreams mean. Dreams are seen as a a connection to the unconscious. Do dreams really have a meaning? Maybe not but to me, yes, they do mean something. So, for the first Dream Story for the Bank. I'll title this, "The Forrest Garden"

A forrest like Garden. Grave stones on Steps, like a side of a pyramid.
Trying to take photos of the tree roots on the streps, but wires were in the way.
Scared of losing balance and falling I take the hand of a friend who leads me back to the main road. With the persons hand I ran faster and faster until I reached the main road.
I told them I know a place with prettier gravestones with flowers.
I went to tell Mother sitting on a bench area, I did't want to leave without taking a photo of them. Be right back." She hands me over a white jacket.
My sister was wearing white jeans and said "Mother told me to wear them."

We set foot to go the place I want to take photos of.


I wake up.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Sometimes you just gotta laugh...





Something bad has happened the night before, so sleep was just a hell hole.
Finding yourself watching the clock like a count down bomb. Finally hearing the your alarm ring. You get up and look at yourself in the mirror telling yourself 'it's time' and force a smile on your face.
I freshen up hoping that would make myself look and feel better. I make myself a cup of Tea while checking my mail on my phone. Driver is on holiday so i took the train to my work destination. I'm early, as always...
Greeted and shook the hands of people i'd be working with today with that fake hardened smile.
"Can i pass?" yes i did. People didn't seem to tell. I sat down and got my make up done, the soft tapping of that fluffy brush on my eye lids was like a massage while the flowery scent of the make up artists perfume was making me drowsy and too relaxed. She noticed and instantly asked if i wanted some coffee or tea. "Yes, that would be wonderful," I replied still trying to recover from last nights images. I thought i could act my way through todays shoot but no, the camera caught the sorrow in my eyes and the photographer knew i wasn't at my best today.

In my head i was repeatedly trying to think of ways to cheer myself up. "Think of Kingston panini's! Think of running through a bridge of pigeons! Think of that incredibly astonishing feeling of finally completing External Sonata! Don't be a weak bitch!" and then... during the silent moment of the music changing. Someone gave out the biggest fart. No one wanted to admit the fart but the photographer pointed out that it sounded like a cute fart so it must have been me. Knowing it defiantly wasn't me, i laughed with embarrassment and said "NO WAY! I always admit my farts!!" The crew bursted out laughing while the photographer said, "Sorry guys i had beef curry noodles!"

Laughing somehow fire-bolted those sour images out of my head. I didn't feel so weak anymore and finished the shoot with a new story to blog about.

Sometimes you really don't feel like laughing and most things you'd normally laugh doesn't work. Doesn't mean you wont laugh again. When something is really, really funny. You'll laugh - No matter how upset or depressed you were.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Sneaky Peek!



Hurro!!!
In the middle of a shoot for what? For my new Blog Design!!!!!
Woot Woot! Sneaky peek! hehe.
It's been a year already and it's time for a change. Yes, i am wearing the British Flag T-shirt - dammit that's such abig spoiler for my next theme! ...fail
But that's okay. I hope you guys will like it once it's done.
I did think about making another banner competition but i've been so busy lately to update my blog so let a lone handling another competition again... I'm sorry.. Forgive me.

I will try my best as usual to update you all with my latest news and updates!
Stick with me!! Don't leave mehhhh~~~ >.<