Something bad has happened the night before, so sleep was just a hell hole.
Finding yourself watching the clock like a count down bomb. Finally hearing the your alarm ring. You get up and look at yourself in the mirror telling yourself 'it's time' and force a smile on your face.
I freshen up hoping that would make myself look and feel better. I make myself a cup of Tea while checking my mail on my phone. Driver is on holiday so i took the train to my work destination. I'm early, as always...
Greeted and shook the hands of people i'd be working with today with that fake hardened smile.
"Can i pass?" yes i did. People didn't seem to tell. I sat down and got my make up done, the soft tapping of that fluffy brush on my eye lids was like a massage while the flowery scent of the make up artists perfume was making me drowsy and too relaxed. She noticed and instantly asked if i wanted some coffee or tea. "Yes, that would be wonderful," I replied still trying to recover from last nights images. I thought i could act my way through todays shoot but no, the camera caught the sorrow in my eyes and the photographer knew i wasn't at my best today.
In my head i was repeatedly trying to think of ways to cheer myself up. "Think of Kingston panini's! Think of running through a bridge of pigeons! Think of that incredibly astonishing feeling of finally completing External Sonata! Don't be a weak bitch!" and then... during the silent moment of the music changing. Someone gave out the biggest fart. No one wanted to admit the fart but the photographer pointed out that it sounded like a cute fart so it must have been me. Knowing it defiantly wasn't me, i laughed with embarrassment and said "NO WAY! I always admit my farts!!" The crew bursted out laughing while the photographer said, "Sorry guys i had beef curry noodles!"
Laughing somehow fire-bolted those sour images out of my head. I didn't feel so weak anymore and finished the shoot with a new story to blog about.
Sometimes you really don't feel like laughing and most things you'd normally laugh doesn't work. Doesn't mean you wont laugh again. When something is really, really funny. You'll laugh - No matter how upset or depressed you were.