I’d find myself. 

Just sitting there.

Staring at the wall.

Just thinking.

Thinking what the fuck could i be thinking.

I’m tired.

I’m lonely.

No…

I’m going insane.

Miyavi is singing.

I sing along.

I start to cry.

My heart starts to ache.

The pace of my typing picks up.

I stop.

I stop crying. 

My phone starts to ring.

There’s no point. There’s no point.

Expressing your feelings is the only way for someone to know how you think.

What if your faced with an idiot.

No matter what it is useless. 

Waste my time.

Invasion and heels.

No matter how tired i am, or how terribly bad a day has come, i try to keep a smile on my face when i'm out there. It's my job, it's what i do.
My life isn't as glamorous as it may seem. Every family has its secrets and untold tear shedding stories. All i can do is try to live my every day trying to improve and to bring a better chapter into our lives. It doesn't matter how you start or how it ends, what matters is; your effort.
The baggage on my back isn't getting any lighter, thats my life. No matter what the Masters say when they read out my life and fortune i still try my best to keep my head up and believe that even though some things are written, you can always change it.

Todays dream for the dream bank.

Mysterious creatures fall from the sky
An invasion to earth
Humans, family, friends, captured under these unearthly creatures
I plan an escape
I break loose, along with a friend
Wearing 6inch heels
Running away, far far away
Carrying a large baggage on my back, twice my size
Something drops on the ground
I bend down to pick it up
Can't stand back up...
Down on my knees and hands
Baggage was too heavy, My heels were too narrow
Legs - weak
I sat down and said to my friend, "I'm sorry, I have to sit down for abit, I'm so tired" 
My friend looks at the distance and looks back down at me 
She sits next to me, accompany's me.

I wake up.

Raining Wedding.

Will it rain today? It's been raining for the past few days. I like the rain actually.
I like to wear my rain boots and jump around in puddles while people around me run away from me trying not to get wet. I like that i have an excuse for having a messy afro fuzzy hairstyle. Another dream for the Dream bank during the rainy days. Here it goes...

Day of my Wedding.
I have troubled getting changed in time and having trouble with my dress.
'It' walks out without me.
I run out to serve Tea to my mother. 'It' is missing.
People start to leave my wedding.
I wonder why as it's only just begun.
I look for 'It'.
I see people jumping off buildings, stairs and the balcony.
I finally find 'It'.
I ask 'It' why 'It' left me all alone back there.
'It' replies, "I'm stressed and not ready for this."

I wake up.

The Forrest Garden.

75% recovered and second day back home from the hospital, i'm off to work again. Working illness? I don't know. I just feel that i will get more ill just from lying in bed all day and not fighting back. Anyway, this blog isn't going to be about my hospital experience or why i've not been feeling well - i'm planning to save that for another time.

I've decided to start a Dream Bank category on my blog. Why? because personally, i really love finding out what certain dreams mean. Dreams are seen as a a connection to the unconscious. Do dreams really have a meaning? Maybe not but to me, yes, they do mean something. So, for the first Dream Story for the Bank. I'll title this, "The Forrest Garden"

A forrest like Garden. Grave stones on Steps, like a side of a pyramid.
Trying to take photos of the tree roots on the streps, but wires were in the way.
Scared of losing balance and falling I take the hand of a friend who leads me back to the main road. With the persons hand I ran faster and faster until I reached the main road.
I told them I know a place with prettier gravestones with flowers.
I went to tell Mother sitting on a bench area, I did't want to leave without taking a photo of them. Be right back." She hands me over a white jacket.
My sister was wearing white jeans and said "Mother told me to wear them."

We set foot to go the place I want to take photos of.

I wake up.